What are Relationship Skills?

Relationship skills are defined as the ability to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships and to effectively navigate settings with diverse individuals and groups. It involves communicating effectively, listening actively, cooperating, resisting inappropriate social pressure, negotiating conflict constructively, and seeking and offering help when needed. It includes abilities such as, making positive relationships, showing cultural competency, practicing and developing teamwork and problem-solving skills and standing up for the rights of others, and many more (Casel,2009).

Relationships skills are important as it helps a person throughout his/her life. The ability to communicate, listen and help others are core components of human interaction. These skills are useful in both school and family. It can help students as well as adults to bridge the language gap among themselves and communicate effectively in order to maintain healthy and positive relationships with others. For school children, relationship skills can be complex to learn, develop, and practice, but they are the basis for appropriate interaction with peers and teachers as these skills are interdependent and build on each other. For example- A teacher asks the students to introduce and communicate with each other on their first day of school. It includes initiating contact and friendship and sharing their thoughts and feelings and offering help and support. This all will help in developing a positive relationship.

Relationships make a person feel connected. When there is a successful relationship, such as friendship, romantic relationship, positive neighborhood, and society, a person feels a sense of connectedness and belonging. This is true for a student, when a teacher and a student connect well, there can be school success, such as academic excellence, self-motivation, self-regulation, and enhanced teamwork and problem-solving skills. Apart from academic success, there is also improved classroom behavior and meaningful future relationships (Difazio & Roeser, 2020).

Beggs & Olson (2020) research examined the connection between social-emotional learning and well-being, academic success, and attendance. The study focused on 10 middle school students in seventh and eighth grade over a period of four months; three of these four months were affected by COVID-19 school closure. The findings indicated that enhanced positive student-teacher relationships and teacher-guided SEL curriculum positively impacted overall student well-being. In addition, the data indicated there remains a need for more studies in the school-wide SEL curriculum for more definitive results.

The family also plays an important part in building relationship skills. The first interaction of a child is through a family. Parents and elders should develop healthy relationships with each other. When there is a positive relationship, a child feels more comfortable communicating to know and accept each other. Having a positive relationship, in the beginning, helps in making more meaningful relationships later in life. Goldberg & Carlson (2014) used data from the Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing Study (N = 773) to examine how couple supportiveness in stable coresident families is related to children’s externalizing and internalizing behavioral problems over age 3 to the age of 9. The findings show that children with supporting parents experience fewer behavioral problems. There was also slight evidence that parents’ relationship quality and children’s behavioral problems are related reciprocally. On a whole, this study indicates that more positive couple interactions are advantageous for children living with both of their biological parents.

Requirements for effective Relationship Skills

• 1. Effective communication- It involves speaking clearly and conveying ideas appropriately, and also understanding body language, facial expressions, and gestures that can contribute to accurate delivery and perception. A strong sense of self-awareness can help in building communication skills.
• 2. Active listening- It depends on the ability to consciously make the effort to hear and comprehend what the other person is saying and respond appropriately. It includes appropriate eye contact, regulating thoughts to limit distractions, utilizing facial expressions, and providing oral responses.
• 3. Adaptability- It requires that students be flexible, have social and self-awareness and respect each other’s thoughts and opinions, listen well, and practice effective problem-solving. It helps in working toward a common goal and enhances teamwork.
• 4. Disengaging from unwanted social pressure- It can help students to communicate and resist antisocial behavior. Such behaviors help the child to save themselves as well as others from problems ranging from bullying, lying to issues as grave as self-harm.
• 5. Dealing with conflicts- It involves achieving solutions by helping others and oneself. A child learns to deal with the problem, brainstorm solutions, and come to an appropriate decision.
• 6. Seeking and offering assistance when required- A child should be encouraged to check their understanding in both academic and social situations. If any problem arises, they need to know how and when to ask for help. For both the student and the teacher or parent, it is important to know whether or not it is appropriate to offer assistance in a certain situation.

Role of Relationship Skills in Development of Children

The ability to form and maintain relationships is important for a human being, from childhood to adulthood, as it helps a person to adapt well to the ecosystem. It is also vital for being mentally healthy and having a positive sense of well-being.

The relationship of a child with others such as teachers, parents, siblings, and others is important but what is more crucial is the quality of the relationship. There needs to be a secure relationship with the significant others for a consistent, healthy, and sensitive bond. A child having a secure relationship with others will understand the importance of love and support and will be able to exchange them when needed. They will also feel that they are worthy of the love and care that they receive. This will help them to maintain and manage their own emotions, feelings, and thoughts and also be able to relate with others and understand their emotions, which in turn will help in social development. Most of the time, children acquire these skills by learning & observing as they grow. SEL programs can help children learn various skills to better adapt to the situations (Lavis, 2016).

Winston & Chicot (2016) in their research showed that the brain development of infants (as well as their social, emotional, and cognitive development) depends on an affectionate bond or attachment relationship with a primary caregiver, usually a parent. The findings reveal that the support of babies and their parents in the first two years of life is a crucial aim of public health groups in the community. (The importance of early bonding on the long-term mental health and resilience of children)

A child’s relationships with parents, other family members, and teachers shape the way they see the world and affect all areas of their development and through this children learn about their world. It helps them in expressing themselves, such as crying, laughing or cuddling, smiling, etc. What children receive from others gives them very important information about what the world is like and how to act in the world which is important in developing their higher cognitive abilities such as thinking, understanding, memorizing, and problem-solving. (Relationships & child development). For example, when a child asks questions about a new concept that they have encountered, and a parent or teacher responds gently and warmly, it is helping a child to communicate and think more productively.

When there are secure, empathetic, and nurturing relationships, children learn to be intimate and empathetic and eventually are able to express their feelings, understand their own wishes, and develop their personal relationships. It also teaches children which behaviors are appropriate and which are not. The secure relationship also helps a child in gaining confidence and boosting self-esteem.

Pepler & Bierman (2018) in their study found that social and emotional support promote the development of critical social-emotional capacities, but also attend to and create positive peer procedures to ensure that every child is able to engage in and benefit from healthy relationships at home, school, peer group, and community.

Also, strong relationships with teachers and school staff can help in enhancing students’ level of motivation and therefore promote learning. Students who have access to stronger relationships are more academically involved, have stronger social skills, and experience more positive behavior. Research by Jacqueline Zeller on teacher-student relationships showed that it helps in building students’ sense of security and facilitating their readiness to learn at school

Having positive relationship skills helps children in conveying their problems, they become more goal-oriented and it reduces emotional distress.